So I heard it’s Earth Day
i wish i had a little toilet and sink in the corner of my room so i wouldnt have to walk all the way to the bathroom
That’s a prison cell
In prison your food gets cooked for you as well.
I’m beginning to think murdering people I don’t like wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
you do realize that there’s probably police officers on here, right?
oh no what are they going to do send me to prison?
‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’
what if i cut off your left leg
would that make you stronger
It would make your right leg stronger.
everyone says they want a fairytale wedding but when i show up and curse their firstborn suddenly i’m the jerk
so i’m watching some idiot show on syfy about nerd weddings
and there’s this woman going on about how she wants a GoT themed wedding
and i’m just like
are you sure
are you really sure about that
so i got in the shower right and like halfway through the shower i noticed there was a spider in the corner and the first thing out of my mouth was “first of all how dare you”.